


"Merlin, You've Got It Going On"

by Remianly



Series: Flight of the Conchords Song Parodies [1]
Category: Merlin (TV), Merlin/Arthur - Fandom
Genre: Bremaine (Flight of the Conchords), Bret (Flight of the Conchords), Crack, Dialogue-Only, Episode: s02e09 Lady of the Lake, Funny hurt/comfort, Humor, Implied Slash, Inappropriate Humor, Jemaine (Flight of the Conchords), Lyric rewrite, M/M, Season/Series 02, Song Lyrics, Song Parody, Song rewrite, Uncomfortable Merlin, Wordcount: 500-1.000, flight of the conchords - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-27 23:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15035864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remianly/pseuds/Remianly
Summary: After Freya died, Arthur noticed Merlin looking down and depressed lately. In hopes of cheering Merlin up and seeing him smile again, Arthur composed a song.





	"Merlin, You've Got It Going On"

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by ["Bret, You've Got It Going On"](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/391475) by Flight of the Conchords. 



> Okay, I LOVE Flight of the Conchords, and I have no idea why I didn't think of this sooner. Bret always kind of reminded me of Merlin so this piece is dedicated to the wonderful two-men band.  
> To watch the video:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwFPJ2AWrEU  
> I've found it most enjoyable listening to the audio of the song while reading through the lyric rewrite.

**"Merlin, You've Got It Going On"**

_[Arthur walks in his chambers and sees Merlin making his bed]_

__

**Arthur** : "Hey, Merlin."

_[Merlin looks up]_

**Merlin** : "Oh, hi, Arthur, how's it going?"

_[Arthur walks over and sits on bed]_

__

**Arthur** _[looking down at parchment in his hand]_ : "Your face is good... It was just a compliment for you: your face. Just complementing about your face being good."

 **Merlin** _[awkwardly force smiling??]_ : "Oh thank you."

**Arthur** _[reading parchment in hand]_ : "And also I have another one here um." _[Arthur looks at Merlin]_ "You're good at finding shortcuts... around the castle."

 **Merlin** _[nodding awkwardly while looking down]_ : "Oh I appreciate that."

**Arthur** : "Would it be gay to write you a song? To cheer you up?"

 **Merlin** : "No."

 **Arthur** _[taking out a lute from beneath his bed???]_ : "It's called, 'Merlin, you got it going on.'"

_[Arthur starts plucking lute]_

**Arthur** : "Hey there Merlin, I see you looking down.

Don't want to see my little buddy there with a _frown_.

Just because I get more women than you, well that's only because they don't know you like I do. 

Sure, you're _weedy_ and kind of shy.

But some girlie out there must be needy for a weedy, shy guy. 

They want you as the needle when they're rolling in the hay. 

Just hear me out when I say..."

_[Arthur starts plucking faster]_

**Arthur** : "Merlin, you got it going _o-on_. 

The ladies will get to know your sexuality when they get to know your personality.

I said, Merlin, you got it going _o-on_.

Not in a gay way,"

 _[Merlin's eyebrows scrunch together, beginning to question Arthur]_  

**Arthur** : "just in a "hey mate, I wanted to say that you're looking okay, mate."

 _Why_ can't a heterosexual _guy_ , 

Tell a heterosexual _guy_ that he thinks his booty is fly."

_[Merlin shifts uncomfortably]_

**Arthur** : "Not all the time, obviously, just when he's got a problem with his self esteem.

Don't let anybody tell you you're not _humpable_.

Because you're _bumpable_.

Well, I hope this doesn't make you feel _uncomfortable_.

If I say you've got a boom ow-ow.

Come on Merlin, help me out now."

_[Arthur starts strumming lute]_

**Arthur** : "Merlin, you got it going _on_."

 **Merlin** _[harmonizing]:_ "You got it going _on_!"

 **Arthur** : "That's the conclusion that I've come to.

But that doesn't mean that I want to _bum_ you.

Merlin, you got it going _o-on_."

**Merlin** _[in flat tone]_ : "Got it going on..."

 **Arthur** : "No doubt about it, we'd be gettin' crazy.

If one of us was lucky enough to be born a _lady_."

_[Arthur strums lute harder]_

__

_[Merlin's eyebrows draw together even more in concern]_

**Arthur** : "If one of us was a lady, and I was your man, if I was your man. 

Well, sometimes it gets lonely, and I need a woman.

And then I imagine you with some bosoms."

_[Merlin's face is uncomfortable]_

__

**Arthur** : "In fact, one time when we were questing and I was really lonely.

And we were sharing that twin room in the inn.

I put a wig on you, when you were _sleeping_ , I put a wig on you."

_[Merlin shifts, extremely uncomfortable]_

_[Arthur stops strumming but continues]_

**Arthur** : "Oh, ohhh, oooooh, oh, and I just laid there and _spooned_ you.

Merlin, you got it going _on_."

_[Arthur strums one more time]_

**Arthur** : "So, hopefully that made you feel better..."

 **Merlin** : "Can I please have a look at the lyrics?"

_[Arthur hands over parchment]_

_[Merlin skims over it]_

**Merlin** : "This is another one of your _weird_ songs, Arthur"

 **Arthur** _[confused]_ : "In what way?"

 **Merlin** _[pointing at parchment]_ : "Well, this part says 'sometimes I put a wig on you... when we're on a quest'."

**Arthur** _[confused]_ : "Put a _wig_ on you? No." _[He shakes his head]_ "It didn't say anything like that."

**Merlin** : "That was _definitely_ a bit gay."

 **Arthur** : "What is?"

 **Merlin** : "Putting a wig on me while I'm asleep."

 **Arthur** : "I think sometimes, you hear what you want to hear."

_[Merlin narrows his eyes, nodding unconvinced]_

**Arthur** : "It wouldn't be gay to put a wig on a man and pretend they're a woman. How could that be gay? If you were pretending they're a woman........ Not that I did it..."

**Author's Note:**

> Can... can some one make a music video for this... because this is genius. And please credit me when you do it!  
> I had a really fun time writing this one and revisiting my all-time favorite band! Tell me what you thought!


End file.
